Ironman Lake Placid 2021

"This is it. My last Ironman. 6 Ironman finishes is pretty good. I said when I stop having fun, I'll stop this craziness. The last 15 miles was NOT FUN!! I'll just request to drop from Ironman Indiana to the 70.3. That will be way better. I don't suffer for hours on a 70.3"

I have had trouble typing this out. Part of my brain didn't want to. When I type out a race report, it brings back feelings, emotions, successes and failures. It reminds me of things I did well, things I failed at. The good, the bad and the ugly. This blog entry is just my race day. There will be another blog about the entire vacation. (The entire vacation was epic!) 

Packet pickup: Just getting into Lake Placid was pretty cool. Leaving NY City and ending up in the Adirondack Mountains was an awesome change in scenery. The smell of fresh mountain air and the laid back feeling was welcomed. There's an energy at an Ironman Village. You get to see athletes that are all ready to test themselves. Seasoned veterans and first timers all there to get the coveted IM wristband. The official first step that an epic race is about to happen. Mike Reilly, The Voice of Ironman, yep, got to meet him and got my pic with him. 

Practice swim in Mirror Lake: I needed this so bad. You wanna escape all your stress and problems? Immerse yourself in a lake surrounded by mountains. I got to see the infamous cable. Its a cable placed in the water, about a foot under the water that gives a straight line to swim the course. Not having to sight buoys,  I was able to swim pretty fast (for me). I swam 30 minutes and got out feeling confident about the swim.

Practice Keene descent: part of the bike course is the infamous Keene descent. A 5-6 mile downhill bomb that has turns, and cross winds! This, my friends, is not my strength when it comes to cycling. First trip down the descent was not bad. The best sherpa ever, Brittney, drove us back up to do it again. The 2nd time down, the cross winds caught my front tire and I experienced the death wobble. It was brief and I reigned it in quickly, but I wasn't about to risk my entire race to bomb down the hill. Thankful for the opportunity to ride it before race day.

race bags..so many bags..morning clothes, bike, bike personal needs, run, run personal needs. Making sure the correct nutrition was in the correct bags. What did I need for race morning? My family was out shopping when I was filling these bags. Thank goodness. I was stressing over this. I'll pack these before I leave the house for Indiana. Major UH OH happened race morning over these bags...

Race morning, Rain. Awake at 3am. Slept ok. Check the weather, rain till about 0900. That means swim in the rain and bike the Keene descent in the rain. Plan on taking that silly easy. I eat my oatmeal, banana and peanut butter. Brittney reminds me to take off my wedding ring. I place my Infinit bottles in my morning clothes bag. Gotta put those on my bike and hand held in my run bag which are at transition. Make sure I got all my stuff and put on my hoodie to stay warm. Britt delivers me to shuttle location (which is also the Tech's AirBnB) at 0420. Line is kind of long and only getting longer. Heather Jackson, PRO Triathlete is about 10-15 people in front of us. Shuttles show up. Off we go. 

First stop transition at Northwoods School. Raining pretty good. Decision is made to leave stuff in bags so they don't get soaked. I would've rather set out a transition set up, but it was better to not have soaked socks and shoes. I put the bottles on my bike. I put some stuff back in my morning clothes bag. Fill the water tank up front. Use the porta potty and off to the shuttle to swim start.

We, (Team Tech and I) find a tree to try and stay dry (fail) under. We start putting wetsuits, lube and Amp lotion on. This is when I find my sunglasses and handheld water bottle (which has my Infinit run mix in it). These items should be in my run bag which is back at transition. A very smart man once said, "OH SHIT!!" I also uttered those exact words. It was 0550. Shuttles stop running at 0600. If the sun comes out and I have no sunglasses, my eyes are not gonna be happy. Bright weather doesn't help me run. Not having my handheld is really gonna suck as I trained with these calories. Part of Ironman asks "Can you overcome obstacles?" I took a deep breath. I considered my options. I took the sunglasses and handheld bottle to the "Glasses" table at swim start. I asked if I could give them my items now and if they would deliver them to swim out? No problem I was told. They were put in ziplock bags and marked with my number. Deep breath out. First problem solved. I smiled all the way back to our tree. Finished getting ready and to the start we went. Chris and Paige were focused to crush this. I felt prepared. The time to crush was upon us. 

Chris and I went and splashed the water to get the feeling of the temp. I believe it was 71. Perfect. Most racers were in long sleeve suits. We had sleeveless suits. I like the shoulder mobility of the sleeveless suit. Mike Reilly was in the crowd of racers! High fives and using the microphone to get us pumped up. The man is a star who likes being among his racers. Is that a dolphin? Nope! It was a scuba diver! They had 2 scuba divers watching from under the water! The canon went off and the line funneled into Mirror Lake. My plan was to stay just off the cable so I didn't fight for water with other racers. I ended up right on the cable. The "washing machine" was in full effect. I followed that cable like my life depended upon it. Swam over some small buoys. Got pushed and kicked. Used my arms to push people off me. It was a touch chaotic. I figured this would thin out as the race went on. I stayed calm but confident. I was prepared. I swam feeling strong. Loop 1 was done and I jumped out to go to loop 2. Sucked down a SIS gel and dove back in. It was time to finish this swim. Used that cable to help me. Watched for feet in front of me. Let faster swimmers pull me. Swam around people who got tired before I did. Swam toward the exit and smiled so big. 6 Ironman swims completed! Swimming isn't my forte but I did well in Mirror Lake. 1:14 for the 2.4mile swim. Heck yea. Even better was when I remembered to get my sunglasses and water bottle. There they were. I grabbed them and off I went. Found a big rock that was a perfect place to sit and remove my wetsuit. It was a long way to transition, but I found my bike pretty easy. Emptied the bike bag, wiped off my feet, and got ready to ride. Turned on my bike computer and loaded pockets with gels. Out of transition I went. Rain had just stopped. Roads were very wet. We start going down some hills. Through this part of town where there was a TON of people!! Everyone full of energy and cheering like crazy. I draw energy from that. I smiled from ear to ear. One fear I had was that spectators wouldn't come out because of Covid. That fear was quickly erased. The spectators came and did their job! My favorite spectators, Brittney, Heidi and Savvy would be out, but I wasn't sure where. I knew it was 1 of 2 places, either our hotel or the Tech's BnB. Rain played a part in this. What was awesome was our hotel was .9 miles away from finish line and Mirror Lake, Tech's BnB was practically at Finish Line. This gave Britt 2 places to camp out at. Brittney was the real MVP that day. She took care of 3 kids and helped her Mom who got taken to the hospital, broken foot, at the same time. She of course made sure I didn't know that until after the race. Brittney should do a "How to spectate an Ironman" blog.

After 3 miles, there they were! In front of my hotel was my family!! I yelled out to Brittney and my kids and told them I loved them. I am a lucky man to have this support. I remembered I had a little climbing to do before the Keene descent. A short out and back, hit the first aid station. I was rollin! Feeling good! I had read many stories of the people who went way too hard on first bike loop only to get smoked the 2nd loop. I got passed by people. I watched my heart rate. This was a big difference for me from other races; using bike computer instead of watch. 1. It broke me free from having my Overall Time. In Maryland, I'd look at my watch for overall time and beat myself up over how long it was taking me. 2. Instead of watching what mile I was on. I watched heart rate. If I got much over 115, I was to back it off. (yes, I have a low heart rate.) I also didn't want to cook my legs on the bike. We were told to be prepared for over 6k elevation gain on the bike course. Finally hit the descent. I was holding those breaks in a fashion that kept me rolling but under control. Wet road plus winding descent= nervous Matt. People were flying by me. I stayed to the right and made my way down. Good lord man, I was happy to have that portion done. Turned left and had super smooth roads. Watching that heart rate and pedaling nice and smooth. Looked up to see the clouds covering the top of Whiteface Mountain. I was up there yesterday! The area is just gorgeous. Lakes and streams, trees, mountains, I could ride there forever! There is a longer out and back. This part had some rollers but was fun! Good speed and seeing bikes on both sides of the road helps the motivation. Then I see Chris on the side of the road. Changing a tire. I holler out to him and make sure he's ok. He says he's good so I continue. I hate to see this as Chris has prepared for a long time to finally get to race. If there was one guy I knew could fix a flat, Chris is him. Now I had motivation to see how long I could "hold him off". Well friends, it wasn't long! The man can pedal his bike. I hear that familiar voice, "Fucking mechanicals!!" "I'm not letting a flat take me out!" I reply, "Damn son, you got that fixed quick!" We have a short conversation before he takes off. I smile as I know Chris is back in the fight. Then I saw this sign, "CAUTION WIENERS AHEAD!!!" I hadn't been exercising that long for my imagination to be taking over already. Then they appeared! 3 people dressed up as hotdogs. Cheering their condiments off! They had other hot dog related signs and on my 2nd loop, they offered me a hotdog. If I wasn't a celiac, I may have taken them up on it. The end of the loop is an 11 mile climb. People had talked of the Three Bears hills. I showed I was prepared as I just pedaled right up and over those hills. The last hill, Papa Bear, was really fun. People went to this hill and surrounded the riders on both sides with a ton of energy. It was loud!! I've seen this at Tour de France on TV, but to ride through the crowd on both sides was awesome!! 

I make my way back into town and the hunt for my family began. Found them in front of Tech BnB. I stop for a quick second. I tell them my favorite part of the bike course was seeing "3 wieners!" I remember Savvy being really loud asking, "WHAT??!!" I then filled them in that they even had ketchup and mustard as I rode off. I laughed thinking about what were they thinking? My father in law later said he thought I was already loopy. Truth be told, I had more work to do. I made my way to that damn descent. Stayed to the right. People flying by me on the left. People cheering on the side of the road. "Just don't crash Matt" is all I thought. We came here to do all 3, not crash. The winds kept me honest. I got down the descent and was so happy to turn left. Through the gorgeous scenery. Made it back to the long out and back. Remember those people flying by me down the descent?? I started picking them off one by one. I was feeling very good. I'm like over 70 miles into this bike and not even feeling tired. I remember these blurs of speed down the descent as I catch and pass them. Feeds my energy. Feels good. Back to the long climb. Easy does it, keep pedaling easy, NO GRINDING GEARS, I smile as I see people struggling up the hill and I'm just cruising along. I knew I had paced this well. I talked to a few people as we climbed. Asked people how they felt, how did their swim go? Said I was looking forward to Papa Bear crowd! They didn't disappoint. Loud music, cheering, great energy! Back into town and I was feeling great. I felt like my swim and bike had went very well. Off the bike and back to transition I went. Legs were a touch tired but not bad. I thought through my transition before I got to my rack. Tom Petty's "Jammin Me" was on the loud speakers. I racked my bike, changed my shoes, made sure i had my race belt and nutrition. Off to run.

I had orders to keep heart rate low for the first 8 miles. The Ironman marathon has always challenged me. I've experienced cramps in muscles, bouts of diarrhea, and fighting mental demons on the Ironman marathon.Nothing about Ironman is "easy", but I've trained hard to try and make it tolerable. I wanted to average 11 minute miles. I couldn't keep my heart rate low enough to run any further than a quarter mile without stopping to walk to let the heart rate fall back. The opening 2-3 miles were lined with people cheering like crazy! Great energy! I was so stressed over my heart rate, I told people who were looking at me kinda funny, "I'm just keeping my heart rate down." I've identified this as a change for IM Indiana. I wont be stressing over heart rate in opening miles of the run. The good part of watching my heart rate was that my mind wasn't paying attention to the mileage signs. The sun was out and I could tell it was getting warm. I used ice in my Race Saver bag over my head and ice down my shirt and shorts. I found my family again in front of my hotel. I told them I was doing good and that I'd be back soon. The run is a 2 loop course. The course goes to the Horse Show grounds and this where some craziness happened. It was like a maze. Runners going back and forth in the same area around the grounds. There were volunteers directing people but you had to pay attention. If you were coming from town, you went clockwise, if you were coming in from River Rd (I'll get to River Rd, F River RD!, sorry bout that,I have strong feelings about River Rd.) if you were coming in from River Rd, you went counter clockwise. Got that? Imagine swimming 2.4, riding 112 then getting into a rat race where you have people going different directions at different mileage points, first or second loop??, and making sure you are going the right way at the right time. I focused on the volunteer directing traffic and figured it out. Others did not. Others ended up running the wrong way, adding or subtracting to their mileage. Not a great set up, but this was the year we were just thankful to race. 

OK, around the grounds and out to River Rd I went. Did I mention my disgust for River Rd? (Truthfully, I've identified another pre-race mistake here. I should've known how far we ran on River Rd. But it's way funnier to just blame the road). River Rd is clearly 112 miles long and the longer you take to get to the turn around, the further they move it back. Paige said it was 6 miles out to the turn around. She's pretty smart. I think it was closer to 20 miles out because it took me FOREVER to get there! There were a few spectators out there on River Rd but not many. The aid stations were manned with incredible volunteers who gave us what we needed. I tried to keep my running pace going, watching the heart race and ticking off miles. I was back to the rat race maze at horse show grounds and thinking I was close to halfway done with marathon. Just a few miles to see my family, get that crowd energy, do this stupid loop once more and get that finish line! As I'm leaving Horse Show grounds about to ascend a hill, mile 11ish, both shins LOCK up. I mean shooting pain with every step. I couldn't flex my foot without feeling like I'd fall over. Remember that famous quote from early in the morning? "OH SHIT" is correct. It hurts to run. Walking isn't great. I got 15 miles to go. Well Hello there mental demons! Bout time you showed up! Yall are gonna have to go away. I can fight through this. I've seen friends fight through cancer. I've seen friends fight with their kids fighting cancer. I can fight through this. I make it back to my hotel and my family are out. Clearly they left the swimming pool to come out and cheer on their Dad. I tell them I'm feeling great (LIAR!!) to try and make myself believe it (FAIL!) I get to the turn around in town in front of a ton of people! Cheering like crazy! I try to run but my legs are about to give out. I just walk and try to take in the energy from the crowd. I think I get to see my family one more time before I head back to horse show grounds. I'm disappointed that they aren't there when I get back. What I didn't know, was Britt's Mom was hurt and waiting on the paramedic to come get her. She needed my family worse than I did! No problem, I got this. I was able to clearly think through this problem. How do I fix this? How do I make my shins ease up?? If only I could ice them? Wait, Aid stations have ice. Most of us use it to cool ourselves down, but I can pour the ice into my hands and ice my shins!! Like a light bulb in a cartoon going off. I made it back into horse show grounds and found ice. I iced both shins as much as I could. I then remembered Liz Daulton's fight in IM CDA and how grapes were her friend. I decided to get some grapes. I looked at the tables and found Dixie cups with pictures of grapes in them. Perfect! Only to find the cups full of pretzels. Celiacs cant eat those pretzels. What a let down. Shins are hurting, no pretzels, 13 miles to go. Around the maze and off to HELL..sorry, River Rd I go. 

Someone must've thought it would be funny to put a photographer on River Rd. I tried running. Short distances. Like "lets see if we can run to that tree" short distance. It hurt. I'd do it, but it hurt. I walked. 

 

Actual face on River Rd.

Sean, a New York Firefighter walked with me for a few miles. I introduced him to Chris who was on his way in as I was on my way out, so he had to be like 35 miles ahead of me just on the run portion because River Rd is 50 miles long. There was an aid station! I asked if they had anything that might help locked up muscles in my shins. They sprayed some cooling lotion into my shins and calves. It didn't do much but I tried to run some more. Sean went on ahead of me. Right before the turnaround, the aid station said they had chicken broth! Chicken broth by itself may not seem that great but after exercising for 14 hours, chicken broth is the bees knees! Salty, warm, and easy to get down. Yes please! I hit the turn around and a new feeling came over me. I'm about to fall asleep! Or pass out. Not sure which, but this is bad. I got like 6 miles to go and I just want to take a nap. Caffeine!! We need caffeine!!! I start loading up on my caffeine chews. On my final way out of River Rd, I see Paige running towards the turn around. Girl was looking happy and strong. She was killing it. I was jealous.

This is what I'm most sad to report. I'm blaming energy crash, hurting muscles and fighting extreme fatigue. A guy yelled to me, "Great job!" I replied, "Yeah right." in a manner of a depressed loser. Not a smiling lunatic who is happy to be participating, a depressed loser who got a little shitty with a guy trying to help me. He responded, clearly offended, "No really man, you are." I apologized for my response and said I'm just tired and disappointed. I had to look inward and go back to my goals. Just finish the 140.6 was goal 1. I was still doing that. I then saw a lady at the corner of River Rd where I turned off River Rd. I told her I didn't think I was ever going to see this place again. If I never see River Rd again, that'll be ok. Back to horse show grounds where I meet another athlete from Cleveland. We shared a mile or so before he went on ahead. Out of the Horse Show grounds (another place I don't need to see again) and up the hill. I'm slow, I'm walking but I now can hear Mike Reilly calling others an Ironman. That's motivation! 

There are 2 people who look like they just finished dinner and are walking back. I said hello. They said, "keep going! You're doing great!" Thick European accents but speak English well. I tell them I'm hurting pretty bad. They assure me I can make it. I ask them to tell me a joke. This request surprises them. They tell me they aren't sure their joke would be understood in English. "Y'all let me down!" I say and laugh. I just wanted something to take my mind of my legs. The guy says, "Well, Lisa did the race today!" "You did?" I reply, "How did you do?"  She says "Good"  The guy then says, "Well, she won!" Wait, what?? "You did? What was your time?" Lisa Norden then said "Yes, 9:11. I shared the same pain you are experiencing. Our pain is the same here." Did I tell the IM Lake Placid Champion she let me down? Yup. Did the Lake Placid Champ take the time out of her evening to come out and cheer on age groupers? Yup, she did. She asked who was waiting for me at the finish line? My wife and kids I told her. "Well go see them, and enjoy that Finish Line!"

I thanked them for their encouragement and finished that little bit. 

Of course, in Lake Placid, you dont get anywhere without going up hill. I had one more hill to crest before the bright lights and red carpet came into view. I almost couldn't believe it. I was crying. The crowd started to grow. I had made it. Fought the hard fight. Walked 15 miles. Almost passed out. Shins hated me. Told the race winner she let me down. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't what I hoped for. But I covered the distance. 140.6 miles. I found my Beautiful wife and gave her a kiss. Told my kids I loved them. I then walked down the red carpet to cheers and high fives. It was at least 3 people deep on both sides! They were banging the boards, going nuts. Then the coolest thing happened!! Fireworks went off!! I couldn't believe it!! Fireworks!!

I think the fireworks makes me think Placid's finish line just edged out Louisville's finish line. I was handed my Finisher shirt, hat and medal. My girls found me just passed the finish line. I got a bag of ice for my shins. I got my picture taken and grabbed some food. 6 time IM FINISHER. The struggle was real. It took guts. Stubbornness, refusing to quit. GRIT. Icing those shins may have saved me. 

Paige was hot on my heals and finished right behind me. She also started a few minutes after I did. She crushed it. Chris had finished way ahead of me. Chris had a 2nd tire issue he had to persevere through. Every athlete had to fight to cover those 140.6 miles. Some athletes who started, didn't finish. One athlete was kicked in the head in the swim and was out with a concussion. 2 athletes crashed on the descent, collar bone sticking out on the guy, broken arm and concussion for the female athlete. A paramedic had crashed off the side of a road and had to be towed out of the ditch. We made it back to the Tech's BnB where I found out my in-laws were at the hospital. Brittney was exhausted. She had a very hard day trying to tend to her mom, watching 3 kids, trying to track 3 athletes and get to the finish line, Britt needs a spa day. She has a small avulsion fracture now. We walked the .9 miles from BnB to hotel where I was spent. My girls were spent. We weren't sure how my in-laws were getting back to hotel. Medics ended up bringing my in laws back. When we were about to shut off the lights, I explained to Britt why this was my last Ironman. Wrecking my body, suffering for miles, making the family wait for me forever, expensive, 6 finishes is enough. Heidi will tell you I went on for an hour how and why I am done with this craziness. I was going to email Ironman to drop to 70.3 in Muncie. My brain was content that we weren't doing that shit again. I couldn't sleep. Everything hurt. Caffeine flowing through my veins. The next morning I texted Chris. Explained I was done. Dropping to 70.3 in Muncie. My girls and I went out for lunch, I typed up the email. I just couldn't send it....I still have the draft saved.

I decided to give it a day or 2. Let things settle down then send it. When I was clear headed enough to look into results, it appears my swim and bike are on point. I'm not the fastest in my age group, but I'm competitive. I run everyday. Yet, the Ironman marathon remains the bane of my existence. I've seen PRO triathletes have issues with the IM marathon. I've received plenty of messages telling me congrats for killing it. Congrats for another finish. My brain is appreciative for these as it puts it into perspective that people respect the challenge, yet I don't feel I killed it. I feel the marathon practically killed me. I'm just stubborn enough to think, "1 more try. I've already paid for Indiana, All I gotta do is figure out the marathon. Lucky 7! or 7 finishes sounds better than 6. So I'll do Indiana, its the only time this is offered, I'd regret not doing it. I'm not signing up for anymore IM races until after I see how Indiana goes. If I suffer like I did in Placid, I'm taking a long break from IM. Not announcing retirement, but a long break. Brittney says she's heard this before. 

things i think hurt me;

Walking NYC a few days before, like 25-29k steps in new shoes

wind on the bike plus elevation gain= longer on bike than expected, not enough nutrition

stressed heart rate too much on run

too much emphasis on marathon time

allowed myself to walk when i could've ran a little more

Things that helped me:

Consistent daily training

Workouts that pushed me

Never quit attitude

Family and friends support

Gratitude just to get to race

Common Among the Uncommon

This is a different kind of blog for me. It's almost difficult to type. I'm kind of laying it all out there. Parts of the past few months, I'm not pleased with. Parts were rough. I lost the JOY in my fitness journey. I became jealous of others successes. I failed to recognize my own success. I learned a lot these past couple months. I may have went through a burnout period. I needed to step back. I needed some guidance. I needed a win.

It starts with a bad decision about a year ago. I figured that 3 weeks after an Ironman, I'd be in great shape to run "just a marathon". This is not respecting the 26.2 distance. This thinking fails to realize that the recovery from Ironman, for me at least, takes a couple of weeks to recover. I registered for the Columbus Marathon,  it ended up being a big mistake.

Then Ironman Ohio 70.3 came along. A hot day and headwinds on the bike led to my epic bonk on the run course. Heat plus headwinds means slow down for me. Instead I tried crushing the bike and hanging on for the run. Bad idea. I failed to do well in Ohio 70.3 after watching others excel in Muncie. I was training my heart out, but on race day I couldn't perform.

My main race was Ironman Maryland. I really wanted to run a sub 5 hour marathon as part of IM Maryland. I believed I could do it. I trained harder than ever before. Jellyfish stings led to a freak out in the water, and then stomach issues led to a ton of walking on the run. I was hoping to set a PR for the 140.6 distance. Instead I came in at 13:48. After some time has passed, I now see that fighting off jellyfish stings, finishing a boring flat bike, and conquering a 3 loop run that went through an unfinished neighborhood, I should of been super proud of myself. Instead, I was jealous of my best friend and training partner Chris, who simply crushed it. I looked at it as a failure. I thought I have been doing this longer, so I should be faster. I should at least be close. Instead I was driving the struggle bus and beating myself up over it. Ironman can tear you up, emotionally and physically. There were dark times when I questioned my abilities and whether or not I belonged in triathlon. Looking back, this is tragic. This is allowing a competitive spirit to overtake the joy of a major accomplishment. Truth is, I'm not competing for money, I don't race to "win". I shouldn't compare my times to anyone else's. I knew all this, but I let my competitive spirit cloud my mind.

I figured I'd take 2 weeks of light running and easy days and then do a few easy days before Columbus marathon. The 2nd weekend was watching Chris tackle Ironman Louisville 2 weeks after crushing Maryland. Yep, here I go again comparing myself to others. Stupid competitive spirit! Did I mention I had other teammates who simply crushed IM Louisville and put up times that I was just super impressed with? I have teammates who raced in heat in Chattanooga. Basically, I'm surrounded by super athlete friends! If you talked to them, they would say they are ok. Proud of what they do, but I can't say any of them BRAG on themselves.

The old competitive spirit reached way back to 2016 when I ran the Flying Pig marathon as part of a challenge. I ran a 4:07 on tired legs. I also had mainly ran for years. I was properly marathon trained in 2016. My competitive spirit, which was now aching for a PR, needing a "win", said we were going for a sub 4 hour marathon. My plan was to stick to the 4 hour pacer for 26 miles and finish just under 4 hours. That plan worked...for 7 miles...then I crashed and burned. I didn't use my intervals. I wasn't properly trained. I was still recovering from IM Maryland. I walked more in Columbus than I ever had before. I felt like crap. My legs hated me. 4:55 total time. My competitive mind screamed I had failed again. No PR, not even close, not even respectable for me. Yet my coach said she was impressed. Impressed? I was mortified. Ashlynn said just to complete a marathon this close to an Ironman was impressive.

I believe I started to fall into a depressed state of mind. Everything looked like a failure. Slow times, stomach problems, walking when I should be running, I started to wonder if I belonged in long endurance races. It's one thing to wonder this during an event when the brain is foggy and tired, it's a different kind of bad when I found myself asking this question after a rest day. I have always said that I will quit doing these long races when I stop having fun. It appeared to me, the fun has been lost.

Brittney and I had a weekend getaway trip with Chris and Paige to run the Kiawah Island Marathon in South Carolina planned and paid for. I had about 6 weeks in between Columbus and Kiawah Island. I reached out to some friends and explained my mental anguish I was going through. After these conversations, it was decided that there would be only 1 goal for Kiawah Island Marathon. That goal was to bring back the JOY in the long race. No time goal, no heart rate measures, no competition. Just enjoy the day. I used my 6 weeks to focus on long runs and different types of runs throughout the week. I swam once a week and did high intensity short bike races on Zwift. I also deleted my Facebook app on my phone. I needed time away from any type of competition or distraction from preparing for Kiawah Island. I'd still check Facebook, sparingly. I found myself less stressed over silly things on social media. I focused a lot better on my own goal.

The weekend of Kiawah Island Marathon arrived and I felt prepared. I knew my only goal was to bring back the joy in long distance. My plan was to start "silly slow". I wanted to keep my heart rate down and effort even lower. I wanted to start in the back of the crowd and try to negative split the race. I had never negative split a marathon. That was a secondary goal to my goal of bringing back the joy. I knew in Columbus I started out way too hard and I died way too early. That led to a LONG day. Being passed by hundreds of runners can be mind crippling. I didn't want that to happen again. Race morning hit and we walked to the starting line. Nervous energy was all around. We learned that at Kiawah Island, 70% of the runners run the half marathon while only 30% run the marathon. This could be a bad thing for me as I enjoy having plenty of other runners around me to keep me motivated in the final miles. I kept a positive mindset.

Paige then said a phrase that really stood out to me. "It's easy to forget we have become uncommon because we surround ourselves with uncommon people. It's easy to feel common among the uncommon."My brain lit up as it processed that. To say we are uncommon isn't a brag or a "look at me!" statement. The general population doesn't train for long distance races. The general population has a large number that does zero exercise. The number of people who race long distance races are uncommon among the general population. Go to a party, maybe a work Christmas party. That usually has a good mix of people attending. How many endurance athletes will you find? How many people say, "You're crazy!" to the athletes in the room. The numbers don't lie. But when I surround myself with like minded athletes; I'm married to a marathon runner, best friend is an Ironman whose wife is an endurance athlete, most friends are runners/triathletes, I got lost in the fact that we are uncommon. The endurance community may be small, but when that is who you surround yourself with, it becomes all you know. This was like a key unlocking a part of my brain that finally allowed me to be proud again. Proud of where I came from and proud of all my successes. Just to complete an Ironman is impressive, trust me, I've completed 5. All 5 offered different challenges. The overall time shouldn't matter. Or if it does matter, it shouldn't determine pride and happiness. My experience shouldn't be compared to other's experiences.

I am happy to report that I followed my plan of starting slow and keeping my heart rate low. I did not allow the flow of the crowd to push my pace. I caught up to Brittney around mile 4. I got to run with my beautiful wife! Our intervals might be different, but the time we got to run together was awesome! I am so proud of her. Brittney had her own Columbus marathon demons to exercise and she did fantastic in Kiawah. Next up was Paige. I caught her around 5.5 miles and we talked about the beautiful scenery Kiawah offered. There was a portion of the race that went to Cougar Island. I was terribly concerned about Chris. A strapping young lad going to a place called Cougar Island! I wasn't sure they'd let him leave! I saw Chris after a turnaround point and calculated he was about a half mile in front of me. Maybe more, maybe less, but I didn't allow this fact to change my strategy. I wanted all of us to do well today. I stayed on my nutrition plan,  I kept a consistent pace. I kept moving forward. I stayed on my intervals. I enjoyed every minute of this race. I thanked all the police officers blocking roads. I thanked the neighbors for sharing their neighborhood with us. I thanked the volunteers. The JOY was flowing through my veins. I had a big smile on my face. Mile 20 hit, I was still running. Mile 22, I was still running, not as fast but still running. Mile 24, still running. Mile 25 we got to see the ocean and have a DJ call out our names. I ran all the way through the finish line. Success was mine. I came up 7 minutes short of negative splitting the marathon. It was close, but I was happy to find the JOY again. Chris found me right after I crossed the finish line. Paige and Brittney finished shortly after us. Kiawah was a great redeemer race. It turned out to be exactly what I needed. I then celebrated with fudge! Charleston has The Fudgery shop. I didn't stress over weight or sugar consumption, I enjoyed the day. I stressed out over physical fitness way too much in 2019.

I must note 2 other races that occurred. First was the Turkey Trot. I had been feeling more confident about my running. I get to run fast with recruits throughout the week and I enjoy the speed aspect of running. Ironman training doesn't usually include speed training. My goal for the Turkey Trot was to go run fast. Yes I was racing it. I wouldn't allow myself to look at my splits on my watch though. I wasn't going to stress over trying for a PR. I'm 8-10 pounds heavier than what I believe my optimal racing weight is and I just didn't want any stress over racing.I also had plans to run the Trot loop a second time. I wanted to get that running on tired legs feeling the 2nd loop. I started a little farther back in the crowd than I should have. This forced me to start a touch slower than what I wanted. Since I wasn't stressing over a PR, it didn't bother me. I just let the race come to me. I passed a lot of people going up that first hill. That made me smile. Then I just let the legs fly. No pace watching, no heart rate stress, just ran. Fast. Loved every minute of feeling that searing pain of the muscles pumping at full steam. Feeling the heart pounding. I kept finding people in front of me to target and then catch. It was a blast. I talked myself through the last mile where my legs wanted to slow down, but I refused to let them. I crossed the finish line and stopped my watch. 3 second PR. I just laughed. By not stressing, by staying calm at the beginning, letting the race come to me instead of attacking and then pressing at the end, led to a PR. This was the first race where eliminating the stress of "success" equaled better success. The Turkey Trot was before Kiawah and helped show me to eliminate the stress would be helpful.

2nd race to note, Winter Solstice trail run. The race was billed a half marathon, but the fun thing with trail races are the mileage is usually something different than typical mileage. Winter Solstice was also 1 week post Kiawah Island Marathon. I had zero goals other than to enjoy the race. I hadn't ran trails in almost 2 years. I was one week post marathon.  My plan was simple. Start slow, don't be in anyone's way, finish the run. I had stressed over the fact I didn't have specific trail shoes. I told myself my regular shoes would get me through. If places got slick or super muddy, I'd just walk. No big deal as I had no real goals other than finish. I started out slow. A lot of runners got out ahead of me. My legs felt fine. I had recovered pretty well. I stayed steady but not fast. Then a switch in my brain went off. I said lets go. I picked it up a little. I started passing a few people. The trail lit up my smile. I was like a kid playing out in the woods. There was a group of runners who I came upon, I passed and then a voice told me to drop them. And I did. I put down a speed surge through the woods I hadn't felt in quite a while. I was having a blast. The farther the race went, the more people I caught and passed. About mile 10.5, the effort started catching up to me. I started slowing down, but as other runners were ahead and behind me, I kept trying to will my legs to keep running. Just after mile 12, a volunteer said we were there, we just had to cross the field. This was music to my ears as I was ready to be finished. I crossed the finish line with a smile on my face and yet another long run completed well with no stress.

Like all good races, this blog has come to the finish line. I was inspired by a pro triathlete who was willing to admit even he had stomach/G.I. issues in a race. I work a job where burnout is common. I have compared my running/fitness journey to my job. I believe I hit a burnout period in long distance racing. I believe these burnout periods can teach us a lot. They make you step back and reassess. They make you understand where you're at and help you decide where to go. Burnout periods help you see your mistakes. If you happen to hit one, it's okay! I know I'm not the first and won't be the last person to go through them. You are not alone, as I am not alone in such an amazing community. I am thankful for everyone who has helped me get to where I am, helped me get through the burnout period, and inspires me to keep going to see where this journey takes us.

The latest Runner's World magazine has an article about a runner who was a "PR Chaser" in her words. The article sounded very familiar to me. She has decided to now chase "PVs". Personal Victories. PVs can include time goals, but don't have to. It can be a personal victory just to finish a race. A personal victory can be whatever you decide it is. I'll always know how fast I have completed certain distances. If I get faster, I will celebrate. I will also know my PVs. Because what we do is hard, it takes time, discipline and sacrifice. If you are lucky, the body and Mother Nature decides to go along with the plan. If the things you can't control work against you, and you still complete that distance, that's a personal victory. It may be ugly, but get your shit done and be proud of yourself.

Don't forget: we are uncommon. We do epic shit! Be proud and continue to CRUSH!

Ironman Maryland 2019!

Oh Ironman, dear old Ironman. You never fail to amaze me. Never fail to CHALLENGE me. Once I think I may have you figured out, you throw something new at me. Always testing me. My arrival at your FINISH LINE must be earned. Lessons can be learned if the athlete is paying attention and can see past the mental fog. 

The Chesapeake Bay area is GORGEOUS. 

Crossing the Bay Bridge is incredible. The clean water with sail boats floating along is a site to behold. Stopping in Annapolis was our first taste of a quaint coastal town. Getting into Cambridge showed more of God's handiwork in the beauty of the town and Choptank River. What I wasn't prepared for is that Hurricane Dorian had shredded the waters of the Atlantic Ocean and forced the calm water loving DEVILFISH, oops..I may have misspelled jellyfish, into the Choptank River. Chris and I had seen photos on Facebook of these Devil's water pets but were told, "the sting isn't that bad." LIES!! All LIES!!! I knew I had to try and get the anxiety out before race day. It reminded me of my crash location in Louisville, I had to face it before I raced through it. Thursday morning we go to do a practice swim. We weren't even in the water when we saw our first jellyfish. 

Then the 2nd one was just past the 1st. People were coming out of the water saying they had been stung a ton. I tried keeping my calm and mentally talking my way through it. Chris and I entered the water. My heart rate was sky high. Normally, open water swimming is fun. I've never had a panic moment in an Ironman event. I may not be fast, but I can swim 2.4 miles without stopping. Knowing the jellyfish were out, I was freaked out. Neither Chris nor I wanted to start swimming. So I did what needed to be done, I yelled out, "3,2,1 F IT!" and dove in. I swam a little and felt this razor like stringy feeling on an arm. At first, it wasn't bad. Then the razor stringy feeling slid down my other arm. It was creepy and kind of scary not knowing how my body would react. I swam for what felt like forever! Looked at my watch to see I'd swam 4 minutes...four. I had been stung on both arms in 4 minutes. This was terrible. Now both arms were burning. Kind of like a Taser feel. I saw Chris swimming and told myself to suck it up and move forward. I swam some more. More stings, now I got stung on my heels and ankles! Just fantastic. I swam for 16 minutes. My body position was all off trying to keep my face out of the water and my heart rate was stupid high. I was happy to get out of the Choptank River. Chris had been stung just as much as I did. I felt like an idiot for leaving my longsleeve wetsuit at home. The water was warm, so the thinking was a long sleeve suit would've dehydrated me. Looking back, I'd have worn the long sleeve suit if I would've brought it. At least I knew I could stand the pain and get the swim done. I was most happy I didn't get stung on the face! I could handle arms and feet. Chris and I rode our bikes to make sure they were working after the drive and ran 30 minutes to keep muscles warm. We learned that vinegar helps reduce jellyfish sting pain. We stopped and bought vinegar. 2 dudes pouring vinegar on themselves right in front of Walgreens. Nothing to see here! The bottles then were added to our bike transition bags. First IM race I've added vinegar to my bags!

Race morning started at 3:10am for me. I slept pretty good for the night before an IM. Chris and I met at my car at 4am. I ate 2 muffins before we left. I had a banana with peanut butter when we parked. We scored a great parking place a block and a hlaf from race start in a guys yard who sold parking passes for $25 for the entire weekend. About 5am, we walked to transition. Checked bike tires, added things to bags (like sunglasses to run bag, mental note for me: put sunglasses in run bag day before so you don't forget.) Pre-race routine went smooth. Chris and I had designated spots to meet when we got our stuff done. I can't explain this enough how helpful it is to have a training partner and best friend race with you. When one of us freaked out, the other brought the freaked out one back to calm. We both had our moments (jellyfish, disc wheels). 

The announcer said, "we're looking to start this race at 6:40 am!" I like a race that starts EARLY! The national anthem was played and the cannon went off! The electricity in the air was amazing. It was time to go be an Ironman! The thought of letting a bunch of people go first and allowing them to push the jellyfish out of our way was what Chris and I were hoping for. A rumor that boats were pushing the jellyfish out was heard. We made our way in line to the water and jumped in. 

Praying there were no devilfish, I started swimming the way I know how. Face down in the water and long strokes. Maybe 2-3 minutes in, the first sting under my left armpit struck. 

Then a few more on the left arm. So much for faster people clearing out the demonfish. I just kept swimming. Stings on right arm and heal appeared. I did a good job of swimming through it. The swim course is a 2 loop rectangle with an inwater timing cord that you swim under which shows you swam 2 loops. I didn't have much jellyfish contact in the outer portion of the river. The second ime I made it out there, I thought I was home free. The thing with Ironman and Mother Nature is when you think you're home free...thats when a new surprise hits you. The jellyfish struck my left skin under my lip, the right part of face and right cheek. I tried brushing the tentacles off my face. Then kept swimming. My face immediately started burning. My mind was yelling at me, "ITS STUCK TO OUR FACE!" I mustve wiped at my face 10 times but the burn got worse. I couldn't look at it! Go ahead, I'll wait..try and look at your chin...can't do it can you?? Well this made me freak out!! I didn't know if the jellyfish was still there, had I got it off, was it sucking the soul from my body??? I looked at a kayak and told myself to swim over to it and regroup. My competitive brain said keep swimming. There was a fight occuring in my head. Do I stop? Do I continue? MY GOD I HATE JELLYFISH!! I have never been MAD during an IM swim. I stay relaxed and just swim. Not here, I got mad. I wanted to THROW a jellyfish as far as I could. I was wore out from getting stung. My face ached. I swam with my head up trying to protect my face from further stings. I later learned of one athlete getting a jellyfish stuck around his neck, the stings causing allergic reaction and him getting pulled out of the water and sent directly to hospital. As if Ironman isn't hard enough, I've now completed one through a jellyfish minefield!! I was thrilled to death to be done with that swim. 

The wetsuit stripper did a fantastic job getting my suit off. Into transition I went, where I couldn't open that vinegar fast enough!! I was pouring that stuff down both arms and splashing it on my face. It helped, but did not eliminate the stings. I will never forget that swim.

Off to the bike. I saw Brittney, Heidi and Savvy with Paige and Ollie. They were cheering like crazy! 

I told them 

about my jellyfish stings and told them I'd see them later. Off I went. Goal was to stay in heart rate zone 2 so I didn't overcook my legs and set myself up for a good marathon run. I stayed in zone 2 and never pushed. The course was a 2 loop course. Flat as a pancake and very little spectators.

 It got long and boring. I like hills. Changing up cadence and feeling the wind going downhill is what cycling is all about! Not in Cambridge, Maryland though. There wasn't even a bump in the road to change anything. Constant pedaling. Not much cheering. Crossing some small bridges provided some nice views, but after 90 miles on the bike, I just wanted to be done cycling. Chris had passed me after an hour or so. When I was coming back into town, I rememeber asking some spectators why they didn't tell me the bike ride was that long?? I got some good laughs at that. 

Finally hit line to get off my bike. I racked Vengenance and headed to transition tent. I got my feet coated in vaseline, put shoes on and off I went. I was putting my belt on with my race number and getting my handheld bottle out as I ran. I made it to the first street where I saw my girls, and Paige and Ollie. It's uplifting to see MY fans! My family!! They provide the support to continue the fight. 

The sun now decided it was ready to cook us. The temps hit real feel of 89 degrees according to weather channel. The run started out with lots of spectators! 

The Maryland run is a 2.5 loop course. The farther away from transition you get, the number of spectators get fewer and fewer. Then you hit this undeveloped area. Its a huge circle. You go to the right and run all the way around the circle and do a U turn to run all the way back around the circle. Somehow, jellyfish attacked us here also!! (that may be fake news, but trust me, jellyfish are trecherous demon spawn). After the deserted circle of doom, you work your way back towards transition. Then through the park where the Base Salt tent was jamming out great tunes! Out of the park and through the residential main street towards the finish line. If you are thinking, Finish Line?? already??  you've forgotten the 2.5 loops..in Maryland you actually pass the finish line 5 times...before you get to cross it. Hearing others finishing up their races and called an Ironman can either be inspiring or deflating. I tried to use it as inspiration. I knew it would be me sooner or later. Passing the downtown area was a boost because there were a ton of drunk partiers cheering like crazy! They loved us! Then towards the little sign we went. It said, "loops 2 and 3 left, Finish to the right". I think it was on loop 2 where my shins started sending pre-cramp signals. I started hitting my pickle juice and took in another Gel. It almost hurt more to walk than run. So I tried to run more (slow jog at this point.) Every now and then...I got this huge boost of positivity. The loop course means you see everyone out on the course with you. When Chris and I would spot eachother, we would point and smile. When we met up, super big hugs! We each said how proud of each other we were. Encouraged each other to keep moving forward! We discussed jellyfish stings briefly and agreed we couldn't wait to get to that finish line. Another highlight of the run for me was when on loop 1, I came around a corner that had a ton of people, including my family. I said, "Hey Heidi! Watch this!" I then turned to the crowd and said, " I can't hear you!!" And the crowd went nuts! I mean really loud! The feeling that I got when my kids saw me as a rockstar who could ignite a crowd, made me so proud! I want them to know I love them and will help raise them the right way, but hopefully think I'm a cool dad. Marched onward...Something..maybe caffeine?? Ignited GI issues. There was a few times I was stressing to find a porta-potty. I wish there were porta potties in more places than just aid stations, but I gotta take what I get. Shins hurting, stomach rumbling, I slowed way down. The death march was starting. After I would use that porta-potty, I'd start to feel much better. When most were walking, I was able to jog past them. I kept smiling because I was happy I wasn't cramping and I was moving forward. Then I got to the circle of doom, which has now turned into Zombieland..people looked dead, but walking, the dark part of my mind came to the forefront of my mind. I can't explain why this happens, maybe exercising for 12 hours fighting jellyfish and boredom, but when the darkness arrives, and you've got plenty of miles ahead...it's tough to fight. Thoughts like, "Well Matt, You have no chance at that 5 hour marathon. This is a failure." "Maybe you aren't cut out for Ironman. You need to stop entering these races until you figure this out." "I can't believe I'm signed up for another one of these, it's just too difficult." and the all time favorite..."this is the LAST ONE of these I'm ever doing!" I had to reassess. What were my goals? #1 was to finish with no injury. I was moving forward and wasn't injured. This was only a failure if I quit, and quitting isn't an option for me. I'll crawl to the finish line if i have to. Goals 2 and 3 weren't happening, but being a 5 time IM finisher was. I remembered where I came from. 270 pounds of fat, lazy, and depressed to a guy fighting jellyfish, headwind on the bike and heat on the run on his way to finishing Ironman Maryland. I specifically remember saying, out loud, "This is no failure Matt, you're doing fine. Now get your ass in gear." Shortly after pulling myself from the darkness, I saw Chris again. Another hug. Words of encouragement. He was on his way to finishing. I had about a full loop left. I thought, "Man, he kicked my ass today!" "good for him! but we gotta move forward!" On my last half a loop, the chicken broth was being served. It's hot and delicious and full of salt! The dark night had set in. Seeing the bay under a starry sky made me smile. This was an experience I'd never had before. Ironman helped provide it. I wore a glow necklace just to help be seen. I got to the turn around point and was thrilled. I picked up my feet a little. I started jogging again. I actually passed a few people. I kept chugging along. Then I made it to the bar area where the huge crowds were. I yelled, "It's my time! It's MY TIME!!" My shins stopped hurting. My chest puffed out. I took the last right turn and grabbed a little more chicken broth! Perked me up just enough to go to the right of that little sign. I was so freaking happy to go to the right! The lights were super bright! The music was rockin! The people on both sides were cheering! The ROCKSTAR treatment is what I live for. I looked behind me to make sure I wasn't in anyone elses way. It was all clear for me to eat up the IM Finish Line experience. I heard the announcer call my name and title me an IRONMAN!! Then he said, "Yes Matt!! Enjoy your finish line!" I was high fiving strangers until I saw my beautiful wife and kids!! I love giving Brittney that quick kiss on the red carpet! 

All the people cheering Heidi and Savvy's Daddy. My kids seeing their dad as a successful Ironman. The Tech family right there going nuts for me. It's always amazing to finish an IRONMAN. Simply incredible. The pictures show a flex, a touchdown, 

and a smile as big as the sky. And as happy as I was, I started to ugly cry. I mean crying like a baby. 

Like my brain was overjoyed just to be done, and proud of the fight. Proud of fighting through the darkness. Managing so much to get there. I thought I could contain it. I wiped the tears away and talked to my finish line catcher. Assured her I was good and she funneled me back to get my hat and shirt. I bypassed the long line to get to the photographer. I just wanted to be with my family. Sure enough, I find my family and walk to an empty spot along a fence. I completly lose it. Crying tears to just let it all out. I try and explain it to my girls and the Tech's. Brittney tells me how proud she is. My kids tell me I am awesome. Chris comes over, we just smile at each other and embrace in the Bromance hug of success. 

Chris and I trained together for months, pushed each other, pushed each other's buttons, helped with each other's kids, sweated through miles upon miles of workouts together. I am truely blessed to have such an awesome support system. Once my brain fog started clearing a little, I thought of Paige. What have I done to poor Paige? She is signed up for her first Ironman next year and here I am completly broken down and cring like a baby. This makes me a laugh as I ask her if she still wants to do Lake Placid. Good thing is already an endurance athlete and knows the feeling of being emotionally ripped apart. 

Some things I learned:

packing in seperate specific bags is the smart way to pack

Sea Safe does NOT work against jellyfish stings

flat bike courses are boring- i should do my homework before I sign up for a race

Ironman is a pacing game in which you hope your body cooperates with

Always have support on course with you! 

I never have to do Maryland again!

Pickle juice shots are awesome

I can fight through the darkness

I'm not setting any time goals for Lake Placid ( i may need reminded of this) 

IM is hard enough, no reason to put time goals on it

I gotta thank Coach Ashlynn for challening me each and every week to make me stronger and preparing me for whatever IM MAryland threw at me (except jellyfish...no one saw them coming)

Anyone who sent me a message wishing me good luck, anyone showing their workouts the past couple months which inspired me to work harder, anyone who helped me, I thank you!!

Team Tech, we did it! Another successful racecation! Our vacation memories could use their own blog! (Oh god! Where's Ollie?!", softshell crab, big kids driving the boat... Suicide Bridge! The list goes on and on! Y'all rock.

Chris- your die hard spirit and willingness to always get the training done pushes me to be better. I'm still impressed how you handle the open water with such ease after just learning to swim a year ago. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you. 

Heidi and Savannah, you both are just wonderful and smart kids. You 2 make me the proudest dad ever. I hope I make you smile half as much as you guys make me smile. I hope you guys enjoy these trips and learn somethings along the way.

Brittney, my beautiful wife. My biggest supporter. My better half! Your willingness to help make these dreams come true is appreciated in a way that I can't describe. You are the most amazing wife and mommy! None of this craziness gets accomplished without your support and sacrifices. I LOVE YOU 3000!!

I'll end this one with this, might sound familiar, Set a goal, a goal that you feel is kinda crazy, a goal you might not make on your first try, a goal you're willing to work for. To make sacrifices for. Challenge the mind and body. Make it DIFFICULT! The harder the challenge, the sweeter the FINISH LINE! Once you achieve that goal, CELEBRATE IT!!! Life shouldn't be all about money, or work, it should be about experiences, ups and downs, LOVE. Trust me, it's worth it. Don't be afraid to tell people your goals and don't be afriad to ask for help to achieve them. I believe I take better care of my family because I take good care of myself! Until next time, peace out. Love y'all, Irondad