Common Among the Uncommon

This is a different kind of blog for me. It's almost difficult to type. I'm kind of laying it all out there. Parts of the past few months, I'm not pleased with. Parts were rough. I lost the JOY in my fitness journey. I became jealous of others successes. I failed to recognize my own success. I learned a lot these past couple months. I may have went through a burnout period. I needed to step back. I needed some guidance. I needed a win.

It starts with a bad decision about a year ago. I figured that 3 weeks after an Ironman, I'd be in great shape to run "just a marathon". This is not respecting the 26.2 distance. This thinking fails to realize that the recovery from Ironman, for me at least, takes a couple of weeks to recover. I registered for the Columbus Marathon,  it ended up being a big mistake.

Then Ironman Ohio 70.3 came along. A hot day and headwinds on the bike led to my epic bonk on the run course. Heat plus headwinds means slow down for me. Instead I tried crushing the bike and hanging on for the run. Bad idea. I failed to do well in Ohio 70.3 after watching others excel in Muncie. I was training my heart out, but on race day I couldn't perform.

My main race was Ironman Maryland. I really wanted to run a sub 5 hour marathon as part of IM Maryland. I believed I could do it. I trained harder than ever before. Jellyfish stings led to a freak out in the water, and then stomach issues led to a ton of walking on the run. I was hoping to set a PR for the 140.6 distance. Instead I came in at 13:48. After some time has passed, I now see that fighting off jellyfish stings, finishing a boring flat bike, and conquering a 3 loop run that went through an unfinished neighborhood, I should of been super proud of myself. Instead, I was jealous of my best friend and training partner Chris, who simply crushed it. I looked at it as a failure. I thought I have been doing this longer, so I should be faster. I should at least be close. Instead I was driving the struggle bus and beating myself up over it. Ironman can tear you up, emotionally and physically. There were dark times when I questioned my abilities and whether or not I belonged in triathlon. Looking back, this is tragic. This is allowing a competitive spirit to overtake the joy of a major accomplishment. Truth is, I'm not competing for money, I don't race to "win". I shouldn't compare my times to anyone else's. I knew all this, but I let my competitive spirit cloud my mind.

I figured I'd take 2 weeks of light running and easy days and then do a few easy days before Columbus marathon. The 2nd weekend was watching Chris tackle Ironman Louisville 2 weeks after crushing Maryland. Yep, here I go again comparing myself to others. Stupid competitive spirit! Did I mention I had other teammates who simply crushed IM Louisville and put up times that I was just super impressed with? I have teammates who raced in heat in Chattanooga. Basically, I'm surrounded by super athlete friends! If you talked to them, they would say they are ok. Proud of what they do, but I can't say any of them BRAG on themselves.

The old competitive spirit reached way back to 2016 when I ran the Flying Pig marathon as part of a challenge. I ran a 4:07 on tired legs. I also had mainly ran for years. I was properly marathon trained in 2016. My competitive spirit, which was now aching for a PR, needing a "win", said we were going for a sub 4 hour marathon. My plan was to stick to the 4 hour pacer for 26 miles and finish just under 4 hours. That plan worked...for 7 miles...then I crashed and burned. I didn't use my intervals. I wasn't properly trained. I was still recovering from IM Maryland. I walked more in Columbus than I ever had before. I felt like crap. My legs hated me. 4:55 total time. My competitive mind screamed I had failed again. No PR, not even close, not even respectable for me. Yet my coach said she was impressed. Impressed? I was mortified. Ashlynn said just to complete a marathon this close to an Ironman was impressive.

I believe I started to fall into a depressed state of mind. Everything looked like a failure. Slow times, stomach problems, walking when I should be running, I started to wonder if I belonged in long endurance races. It's one thing to wonder this during an event when the brain is foggy and tired, it's a different kind of bad when I found myself asking this question after a rest day. I have always said that I will quit doing these long races when I stop having fun. It appeared to me, the fun has been lost.

Brittney and I had a weekend getaway trip with Chris and Paige to run the Kiawah Island Marathon in South Carolina planned and paid for. I had about 6 weeks in between Columbus and Kiawah Island. I reached out to some friends and explained my mental anguish I was going through. After these conversations, it was decided that there would be only 1 goal for Kiawah Island Marathon. That goal was to bring back the JOY in the long race. No time goal, no heart rate measures, no competition. Just enjoy the day. I used my 6 weeks to focus on long runs and different types of runs throughout the week. I swam once a week and did high intensity short bike races on Zwift. I also deleted my Facebook app on my phone. I needed time away from any type of competition or distraction from preparing for Kiawah Island. I'd still check Facebook, sparingly. I found myself less stressed over silly things on social media. I focused a lot better on my own goal.

The weekend of Kiawah Island Marathon arrived and I felt prepared. I knew my only goal was to bring back the joy in long distance. My plan was to start "silly slow". I wanted to keep my heart rate down and effort even lower. I wanted to start in the back of the crowd and try to negative split the race. I had never negative split a marathon. That was a secondary goal to my goal of bringing back the joy. I knew in Columbus I started out way too hard and I died way too early. That led to a LONG day. Being passed by hundreds of runners can be mind crippling. I didn't want that to happen again. Race morning hit and we walked to the starting line. Nervous energy was all around. We learned that at Kiawah Island, 70% of the runners run the half marathon while only 30% run the marathon. This could be a bad thing for me as I enjoy having plenty of other runners around me to keep me motivated in the final miles. I kept a positive mindset.

Paige then said a phrase that really stood out to me. "It's easy to forget we have become uncommon because we surround ourselves with uncommon people. It's easy to feel common among the uncommon."My brain lit up as it processed that. To say we are uncommon isn't a brag or a "look at me!" statement. The general population doesn't train for long distance races. The general population has a large number that does zero exercise. The number of people who race long distance races are uncommon among the general population. Go to a party, maybe a work Christmas party. That usually has a good mix of people attending. How many endurance athletes will you find? How many people say, "You're crazy!" to the athletes in the room. The numbers don't lie. But when I surround myself with like minded athletes; I'm married to a marathon runner, best friend is an Ironman whose wife is an endurance athlete, most friends are runners/triathletes, I got lost in the fact that we are uncommon. The endurance community may be small, but when that is who you surround yourself with, it becomes all you know. This was like a key unlocking a part of my brain that finally allowed me to be proud again. Proud of where I came from and proud of all my successes. Just to complete an Ironman is impressive, trust me, I've completed 5. All 5 offered different challenges. The overall time shouldn't matter. Or if it does matter, it shouldn't determine pride and happiness. My experience shouldn't be compared to other's experiences.

I am happy to report that I followed my plan of starting slow and keeping my heart rate low. I did not allow the flow of the crowd to push my pace. I caught up to Brittney around mile 4. I got to run with my beautiful wife! Our intervals might be different, but the time we got to run together was awesome! I am so proud of her. Brittney had her own Columbus marathon demons to exercise and she did fantastic in Kiawah. Next up was Paige. I caught her around 5.5 miles and we talked about the beautiful scenery Kiawah offered. There was a portion of the race that went to Cougar Island. I was terribly concerned about Chris. A strapping young lad going to a place called Cougar Island! I wasn't sure they'd let him leave! I saw Chris after a turnaround point and calculated he was about a half mile in front of me. Maybe more, maybe less, but I didn't allow this fact to change my strategy. I wanted all of us to do well today. I stayed on my nutrition plan,  I kept a consistent pace. I kept moving forward. I stayed on my intervals. I enjoyed every minute of this race. I thanked all the police officers blocking roads. I thanked the neighbors for sharing their neighborhood with us. I thanked the volunteers. The JOY was flowing through my veins. I had a big smile on my face. Mile 20 hit, I was still running. Mile 22, I was still running, not as fast but still running. Mile 24, still running. Mile 25 we got to see the ocean and have a DJ call out our names. I ran all the way through the finish line. Success was mine. I came up 7 minutes short of negative splitting the marathon. It was close, but I was happy to find the JOY again. Chris found me right after I crossed the finish line. Paige and Brittney finished shortly after us. Kiawah was a great redeemer race. It turned out to be exactly what I needed. I then celebrated with fudge! Charleston has The Fudgery shop. I didn't stress over weight or sugar consumption, I enjoyed the day. I stressed out over physical fitness way too much in 2019.

I must note 2 other races that occurred. First was the Turkey Trot. I had been feeling more confident about my running. I get to run fast with recruits throughout the week and I enjoy the speed aspect of running. Ironman training doesn't usually include speed training. My goal for the Turkey Trot was to go run fast. Yes I was racing it. I wouldn't allow myself to look at my splits on my watch though. I wasn't going to stress over trying for a PR. I'm 8-10 pounds heavier than what I believe my optimal racing weight is and I just didn't want any stress over racing.I also had plans to run the Trot loop a second time. I wanted to get that running on tired legs feeling the 2nd loop. I started a little farther back in the crowd than I should have. This forced me to start a touch slower than what I wanted. Since I wasn't stressing over a PR, it didn't bother me. I just let the race come to me. I passed a lot of people going up that first hill. That made me smile. Then I just let the legs fly. No pace watching, no heart rate stress, just ran. Fast. Loved every minute of feeling that searing pain of the muscles pumping at full steam. Feeling the heart pounding. I kept finding people in front of me to target and then catch. It was a blast. I talked myself through the last mile where my legs wanted to slow down, but I refused to let them. I crossed the finish line and stopped my watch. 3 second PR. I just laughed. By not stressing, by staying calm at the beginning, letting the race come to me instead of attacking and then pressing at the end, led to a PR. This was the first race where eliminating the stress of "success" equaled better success. The Turkey Trot was before Kiawah and helped show me to eliminate the stress would be helpful.

2nd race to note, Winter Solstice trail run. The race was billed a half marathon, but the fun thing with trail races are the mileage is usually something different than typical mileage. Winter Solstice was also 1 week post Kiawah Island Marathon. I had zero goals other than to enjoy the race. I hadn't ran trails in almost 2 years. I was one week post marathon.  My plan was simple. Start slow, don't be in anyone's way, finish the run. I had stressed over the fact I didn't have specific trail shoes. I told myself my regular shoes would get me through. If places got slick or super muddy, I'd just walk. No big deal as I had no real goals other than finish. I started out slow. A lot of runners got out ahead of me. My legs felt fine. I had recovered pretty well. I stayed steady but not fast. Then a switch in my brain went off. I said lets go. I picked it up a little. I started passing a few people. The trail lit up my smile. I was like a kid playing out in the woods. There was a group of runners who I came upon, I passed and then a voice told me to drop them. And I did. I put down a speed surge through the woods I hadn't felt in quite a while. I was having a blast. The farther the race went, the more people I caught and passed. About mile 10.5, the effort started catching up to me. I started slowing down, but as other runners were ahead and behind me, I kept trying to will my legs to keep running. Just after mile 12, a volunteer said we were there, we just had to cross the field. This was music to my ears as I was ready to be finished. I crossed the finish line with a smile on my face and yet another long run completed well with no stress.

Like all good races, this blog has come to the finish line. I was inspired by a pro triathlete who was willing to admit even he had stomach/G.I. issues in a race. I work a job where burnout is common. I have compared my running/fitness journey to my job. I believe I hit a burnout period in long distance racing. I believe these burnout periods can teach us a lot. They make you step back and reassess. They make you understand where you're at and help you decide where to go. Burnout periods help you see your mistakes. If you happen to hit one, it's okay! I know I'm not the first and won't be the last person to go through them. You are not alone, as I am not alone in such an amazing community. I am thankful for everyone who has helped me get to where I am, helped me get through the burnout period, and inspires me to keep going to see where this journey takes us.

The latest Runner's World magazine has an article about a runner who was a "PR Chaser" in her words. The article sounded very familiar to me. She has decided to now chase "PVs". Personal Victories. PVs can include time goals, but don't have to. It can be a personal victory just to finish a race. A personal victory can be whatever you decide it is. I'll always know how fast I have completed certain distances. If I get faster, I will celebrate. I will also know my PVs. Because what we do is hard, it takes time, discipline and sacrifice. If you are lucky, the body and Mother Nature decides to go along with the plan. If the things you can't control work against you, and you still complete that distance, that's a personal victory. It may be ugly, but get your shit done and be proud of yourself.

Don't forget: we are uncommon. We do epic shit! Be proud and continue to CRUSH!

Ironman Maryland 2019!

Oh Ironman, dear old Ironman. You never fail to amaze me. Never fail to CHALLENGE me. Once I think I may have you figured out, you throw something new at me. Always testing me. My arrival at your FINISH LINE must be earned. Lessons can be learned if the athlete is paying attention and can see past the mental fog. 

The Chesapeake Bay area is GORGEOUS. 

Crossing the Bay Bridge is incredible. The clean water with sail boats floating along is a site to behold. Stopping in Annapolis was our first taste of a quaint coastal town. Getting into Cambridge showed more of God's handiwork in the beauty of the town and Choptank River. What I wasn't prepared for is that Hurricane Dorian had shredded the waters of the Atlantic Ocean and forced the calm water loving DEVILFISH, oops..I may have misspelled jellyfish, into the Choptank River. Chris and I had seen photos on Facebook of these Devil's water pets but were told, "the sting isn't that bad." LIES!! All LIES!!! I knew I had to try and get the anxiety out before race day. It reminded me of my crash location in Louisville, I had to face it before I raced through it. Thursday morning we go to do a practice swim. We weren't even in the water when we saw our first jellyfish. 

Then the 2nd one was just past the 1st. People were coming out of the water saying they had been stung a ton. I tried keeping my calm and mentally talking my way through it. Chris and I entered the water. My heart rate was sky high. Normally, open water swimming is fun. I've never had a panic moment in an Ironman event. I may not be fast, but I can swim 2.4 miles without stopping. Knowing the jellyfish were out, I was freaked out. Neither Chris nor I wanted to start swimming. So I did what needed to be done, I yelled out, "3,2,1 F IT!" and dove in. I swam a little and felt this razor like stringy feeling on an arm. At first, it wasn't bad. Then the razor stringy feeling slid down my other arm. It was creepy and kind of scary not knowing how my body would react. I swam for what felt like forever! Looked at my watch to see I'd swam 4 minutes...four. I had been stung on both arms in 4 minutes. This was terrible. Now both arms were burning. Kind of like a Taser feel. I saw Chris swimming and told myself to suck it up and move forward. I swam some more. More stings, now I got stung on my heels and ankles! Just fantastic. I swam for 16 minutes. My body position was all off trying to keep my face out of the water and my heart rate was stupid high. I was happy to get out of the Choptank River. Chris had been stung just as much as I did. I felt like an idiot for leaving my longsleeve wetsuit at home. The water was warm, so the thinking was a long sleeve suit would've dehydrated me. Looking back, I'd have worn the long sleeve suit if I would've brought it. At least I knew I could stand the pain and get the swim done. I was most happy I didn't get stung on the face! I could handle arms and feet. Chris and I rode our bikes to make sure they were working after the drive and ran 30 minutes to keep muscles warm. We learned that vinegar helps reduce jellyfish sting pain. We stopped and bought vinegar. 2 dudes pouring vinegar on themselves right in front of Walgreens. Nothing to see here! The bottles then were added to our bike transition bags. First IM race I've added vinegar to my bags!

Race morning started at 3:10am for me. I slept pretty good for the night before an IM. Chris and I met at my car at 4am. I ate 2 muffins before we left. I had a banana with peanut butter when we parked. We scored a great parking place a block and a hlaf from race start in a guys yard who sold parking passes for $25 for the entire weekend. About 5am, we walked to transition. Checked bike tires, added things to bags (like sunglasses to run bag, mental note for me: put sunglasses in run bag day before so you don't forget.) Pre-race routine went smooth. Chris and I had designated spots to meet when we got our stuff done. I can't explain this enough how helpful it is to have a training partner and best friend race with you. When one of us freaked out, the other brought the freaked out one back to calm. We both had our moments (jellyfish, disc wheels). 

The announcer said, "we're looking to start this race at 6:40 am!" I like a race that starts EARLY! The national anthem was played and the cannon went off! The electricity in the air was amazing. It was time to go be an Ironman! The thought of letting a bunch of people go first and allowing them to push the jellyfish out of our way was what Chris and I were hoping for. A rumor that boats were pushing the jellyfish out was heard. We made our way in line to the water and jumped in. 

Praying there were no devilfish, I started swimming the way I know how. Face down in the water and long strokes. Maybe 2-3 minutes in, the first sting under my left armpit struck. 

Then a few more on the left arm. So much for faster people clearing out the demonfish. I just kept swimming. Stings on right arm and heal appeared. I did a good job of swimming through it. The swim course is a 2 loop rectangle with an inwater timing cord that you swim under which shows you swam 2 loops. I didn't have much jellyfish contact in the outer portion of the river. The second ime I made it out there, I thought I was home free. The thing with Ironman and Mother Nature is when you think you're home free...thats when a new surprise hits you. The jellyfish struck my left skin under my lip, the right part of face and right cheek. I tried brushing the tentacles off my face. Then kept swimming. My face immediately started burning. My mind was yelling at me, "ITS STUCK TO OUR FACE!" I mustve wiped at my face 10 times but the burn got worse. I couldn't look at it! Go ahead, I'll wait..try and look at your chin...can't do it can you?? Well this made me freak out!! I didn't know if the jellyfish was still there, had I got it off, was it sucking the soul from my body??? I looked at a kayak and told myself to swim over to it and regroup. My competitive brain said keep swimming. There was a fight occuring in my head. Do I stop? Do I continue? MY GOD I HATE JELLYFISH!! I have never been MAD during an IM swim. I stay relaxed and just swim. Not here, I got mad. I wanted to THROW a jellyfish as far as I could. I was wore out from getting stung. My face ached. I swam with my head up trying to protect my face from further stings. I later learned of one athlete getting a jellyfish stuck around his neck, the stings causing allergic reaction and him getting pulled out of the water and sent directly to hospital. As if Ironman isn't hard enough, I've now completed one through a jellyfish minefield!! I was thrilled to death to be done with that swim. 

The wetsuit stripper did a fantastic job getting my suit off. Into transition I went, where I couldn't open that vinegar fast enough!! I was pouring that stuff down both arms and splashing it on my face. It helped, but did not eliminate the stings. I will never forget that swim.

Off to the bike. I saw Brittney, Heidi and Savvy with Paige and Ollie. They were cheering like crazy! 

I told them 

about my jellyfish stings and told them I'd see them later. Off I went. Goal was to stay in heart rate zone 2 so I didn't overcook my legs and set myself up for a good marathon run. I stayed in zone 2 and never pushed. The course was a 2 loop course. Flat as a pancake and very little spectators.

 It got long and boring. I like hills. Changing up cadence and feeling the wind going downhill is what cycling is all about! Not in Cambridge, Maryland though. There wasn't even a bump in the road to change anything. Constant pedaling. Not much cheering. Crossing some small bridges provided some nice views, but after 90 miles on the bike, I just wanted to be done cycling. Chris had passed me after an hour or so. When I was coming back into town, I rememeber asking some spectators why they didn't tell me the bike ride was that long?? I got some good laughs at that. 

Finally hit line to get off my bike. I racked Vengenance and headed to transition tent. I got my feet coated in vaseline, put shoes on and off I went. I was putting my belt on with my race number and getting my handheld bottle out as I ran. I made it to the first street where I saw my girls, and Paige and Ollie. It's uplifting to see MY fans! My family!! They provide the support to continue the fight. 

The sun now decided it was ready to cook us. The temps hit real feel of 89 degrees according to weather channel. The run started out with lots of spectators! 

The Maryland run is a 2.5 loop course. The farther away from transition you get, the number of spectators get fewer and fewer. Then you hit this undeveloped area. Its a huge circle. You go to the right and run all the way around the circle and do a U turn to run all the way back around the circle. Somehow, jellyfish attacked us here also!! (that may be fake news, but trust me, jellyfish are trecherous demon spawn). After the deserted circle of doom, you work your way back towards transition. Then through the park where the Base Salt tent was jamming out great tunes! Out of the park and through the residential main street towards the finish line. If you are thinking, Finish Line?? already??  you've forgotten the 2.5 loops..in Maryland you actually pass the finish line 5 times...before you get to cross it. Hearing others finishing up their races and called an Ironman can either be inspiring or deflating. I tried to use it as inspiration. I knew it would be me sooner or later. Passing the downtown area was a boost because there were a ton of drunk partiers cheering like crazy! They loved us! Then towards the little sign we went. It said, "loops 2 and 3 left, Finish to the right". I think it was on loop 2 where my shins started sending pre-cramp signals. I started hitting my pickle juice and took in another Gel. It almost hurt more to walk than run. So I tried to run more (slow jog at this point.) Every now and then...I got this huge boost of positivity. The loop course means you see everyone out on the course with you. When Chris and I would spot eachother, we would point and smile. When we met up, super big hugs! We each said how proud of each other we were. Encouraged each other to keep moving forward! We discussed jellyfish stings briefly and agreed we couldn't wait to get to that finish line. Another highlight of the run for me was when on loop 1, I came around a corner that had a ton of people, including my family. I said, "Hey Heidi! Watch this!" I then turned to the crowd and said, " I can't hear you!!" And the crowd went nuts! I mean really loud! The feeling that I got when my kids saw me as a rockstar who could ignite a crowd, made me so proud! I want them to know I love them and will help raise them the right way, but hopefully think I'm a cool dad. Marched onward...Something..maybe caffeine?? Ignited GI issues. There was a few times I was stressing to find a porta-potty. I wish there were porta potties in more places than just aid stations, but I gotta take what I get. Shins hurting, stomach rumbling, I slowed way down. The death march was starting. After I would use that porta-potty, I'd start to feel much better. When most were walking, I was able to jog past them. I kept smiling because I was happy I wasn't cramping and I was moving forward. Then I got to the circle of doom, which has now turned into Zombieland..people looked dead, but walking, the dark part of my mind came to the forefront of my mind. I can't explain why this happens, maybe exercising for 12 hours fighting jellyfish and boredom, but when the darkness arrives, and you've got plenty of miles ahead...it's tough to fight. Thoughts like, "Well Matt, You have no chance at that 5 hour marathon. This is a failure." "Maybe you aren't cut out for Ironman. You need to stop entering these races until you figure this out." "I can't believe I'm signed up for another one of these, it's just too difficult." and the all time favorite..."this is the LAST ONE of these I'm ever doing!" I had to reassess. What were my goals? #1 was to finish with no injury. I was moving forward and wasn't injured. This was only a failure if I quit, and quitting isn't an option for me. I'll crawl to the finish line if i have to. Goals 2 and 3 weren't happening, but being a 5 time IM finisher was. I remembered where I came from. 270 pounds of fat, lazy, and depressed to a guy fighting jellyfish, headwind on the bike and heat on the run on his way to finishing Ironman Maryland. I specifically remember saying, out loud, "This is no failure Matt, you're doing fine. Now get your ass in gear." Shortly after pulling myself from the darkness, I saw Chris again. Another hug. Words of encouragement. He was on his way to finishing. I had about a full loop left. I thought, "Man, he kicked my ass today!" "good for him! but we gotta move forward!" On my last half a loop, the chicken broth was being served. It's hot and delicious and full of salt! The dark night had set in. Seeing the bay under a starry sky made me smile. This was an experience I'd never had before. Ironman helped provide it. I wore a glow necklace just to help be seen. I got to the turn around point and was thrilled. I picked up my feet a little. I started jogging again. I actually passed a few people. I kept chugging along. Then I made it to the bar area where the huge crowds were. I yelled, "It's my time! It's MY TIME!!" My shins stopped hurting. My chest puffed out. I took the last right turn and grabbed a little more chicken broth! Perked me up just enough to go to the right of that little sign. I was so freaking happy to go to the right! The lights were super bright! The music was rockin! The people on both sides were cheering! The ROCKSTAR treatment is what I live for. I looked behind me to make sure I wasn't in anyone elses way. It was all clear for me to eat up the IM Finish Line experience. I heard the announcer call my name and title me an IRONMAN!! Then he said, "Yes Matt!! Enjoy your finish line!" I was high fiving strangers until I saw my beautiful wife and kids!! I love giving Brittney that quick kiss on the red carpet! 

All the people cheering Heidi and Savvy's Daddy. My kids seeing their dad as a successful Ironman. The Tech family right there going nuts for me. It's always amazing to finish an IRONMAN. Simply incredible. The pictures show a flex, a touchdown, 

and a smile as big as the sky. And as happy as I was, I started to ugly cry. I mean crying like a baby. 

Like my brain was overjoyed just to be done, and proud of the fight. Proud of fighting through the darkness. Managing so much to get there. I thought I could contain it. I wiped the tears away and talked to my finish line catcher. Assured her I was good and she funneled me back to get my hat and shirt. I bypassed the long line to get to the photographer. I just wanted to be with my family. Sure enough, I find my family and walk to an empty spot along a fence. I completly lose it. Crying tears to just let it all out. I try and explain it to my girls and the Tech's. Brittney tells me how proud she is. My kids tell me I am awesome. Chris comes over, we just smile at each other and embrace in the Bromance hug of success. 

Chris and I trained together for months, pushed each other, pushed each other's buttons, helped with each other's kids, sweated through miles upon miles of workouts together. I am truely blessed to have such an awesome support system. Once my brain fog started clearing a little, I thought of Paige. What have I done to poor Paige? She is signed up for her first Ironman next year and here I am completly broken down and cring like a baby. This makes me a laugh as I ask her if she still wants to do Lake Placid. Good thing is already an endurance athlete and knows the feeling of being emotionally ripped apart. 

Some things I learned:

packing in seperate specific bags is the smart way to pack

Sea Safe does NOT work against jellyfish stings

flat bike courses are boring- i should do my homework before I sign up for a race

Ironman is a pacing game in which you hope your body cooperates with

Always have support on course with you! 

I never have to do Maryland again!

Pickle juice shots are awesome

I can fight through the darkness

I'm not setting any time goals for Lake Placid ( i may need reminded of this) 

IM is hard enough, no reason to put time goals on it

I gotta thank Coach Ashlynn for challening me each and every week to make me stronger and preparing me for whatever IM MAryland threw at me (except jellyfish...no one saw them coming)

Anyone who sent me a message wishing me good luck, anyone showing their workouts the past couple months which inspired me to work harder, anyone who helped me, I thank you!!

Team Tech, we did it! Another successful racecation! Our vacation memories could use their own blog! (Oh god! Where's Ollie?!", softshell crab, big kids driving the boat... Suicide Bridge! The list goes on and on! Y'all rock.

Chris- your die hard spirit and willingness to always get the training done pushes me to be better. I'm still impressed how you handle the open water with such ease after just learning to swim a year ago. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you. 

Heidi and Savannah, you both are just wonderful and smart kids. You 2 make me the proudest dad ever. I hope I make you smile half as much as you guys make me smile. I hope you guys enjoy these trips and learn somethings along the way.

Brittney, my beautiful wife. My biggest supporter. My better half! Your willingness to help make these dreams come true is appreciated in a way that I can't describe. You are the most amazing wife and mommy! None of this craziness gets accomplished without your support and sacrifices. I LOVE YOU 3000!!

I'll end this one with this, might sound familiar, Set a goal, a goal that you feel is kinda crazy, a goal you might not make on your first try, a goal you're willing to work for. To make sacrifices for. Challenge the mind and body. Make it DIFFICULT! The harder the challenge, the sweeter the FINISH LINE! Once you achieve that goal, CELEBRATE IT!!! Life shouldn't be all about money, or work, it should be about experiences, ups and downs, LOVE. Trust me, it's worth it. Don't be afraid to tell people your goals and don't be afriad to ask for help to achieve them. I believe I take better care of my family because I take good care of myself! Until next time, peace out. Love y'all, Irondad

Learning lesson? Failed attempt? Not my day today!

This is a hard blog to type out for me. But I feel its in my best interest to get it off my chest and it may help someone else in the future. Or maybe it doesn't?? Who knows?

Anyway, The heat wave kicked into full gear Friday. Without hesitation, Chris and I go ride our bikes for 42 miles in the heat of the day. I take plenty of hydration and I feel pretty strong throughout the ride. Sure the heat took something out of me, but I succeeded in finishing the ride strong and still have decent legs for my daily mile after I get home.

Saturday finds me standing in the sun from 8:30-11:20 am watching the pre-employment recruit PT test. I realize this is draining me of energy, but I don't give it much thought. I swim 3500 yards after the test and I can feel my energy waning. Then I'm standing in the sun for 40-45 minutes helping man the Kennard family water stop for a local race. Not a big energy expenditure, but I believe it plays into today.

I know a big workout when I'm a touch nervous about it the night before. Coach Ashlynn ordered up an 80-mile ride with a negative split 10 mile run for today. I was nervous and excited about it. This is awesome Ironman training. Big confidence booster! IF it goes well.

I was in a great mood this morning. Energy and legs felt ready to work. Chris and Steve met up with me in Xenia and off we went. Chris was feeling quite spry this morning and set our tempo from the get-go. This is what we got to do to improve. So we went to work. Road a combo of trail and roads to Trovillo and the roller coasters!! Everything was going great. I was staying hydrated ( I thought) using Infinit and water. Even added an SIS gel on the hour and 2nd hour. Life was going good. Heat was rising but the path was shaded and felt ok. Refueled at mile 40 with more fluids. Back off we go. We are cruising. About mile 60, my energy dips. I take another gel, keep drinking Infinit. Chris and Steve seem to be pulling away. I try staying consistent and not stressing about being a little slower. Around mile 68ish, both quads send "cramp" signals to my brain. They aren't happy and if I keep pushing them, I'll be hurting. I try easing up the tension. Sit up, shake out the legs. Add another gel. I keep moving forward. Chris and Steve are aware I've hit the struggle bus and await for my arrival at every turn. Mile 75, one quad is super pissed. Mile 78, right quad seizes up. All out cramp! I manage to stop my bike and stand as it kicks in. Man those hurt. Had to shake it out, eat a stinger waffle, and drink the last drops of my fluids I had left. It sucked. I bonked hard. My stomach started to hurt as well. I needed to hit a bathroom, in a bad way. I made it back to the car and made good use of McDonald's facilities. I was really happy to be finished cycling.

I changed clothes in hopes that run clothes would perk me up. Chris and I started our run, and about half a mile in, my stomach quickly made it known I needed another bathroom. This isn't good, I thought. And I was correct! Apparently, endurance exercise in extreme heat draws blood from the bowels to the arms and legs so the body can keep exercising, but the bowels then empty. Thats I gotta say about that. My stomach did calm down after a little bit. But then my hamstrings started letting me know they weren't happy. Seriously?? You guys also?? Chris and I finally make it out 2.5 miles and back to our cars at McDonald's. I change back into my tri shorts as my run shorts are soaked in sweat. I buy a large Coke. If you know me, this is HIGHLY UNUSUAL. I only have Coke at the end of races. All I usually drink is water. But my legs were hurting, and mental games wanting me to quit were being battled. I tried everything I had. I turned on music, drank caffeine, used another gel. Went back out with Chris. My stomach then directed me back to the porta potty which was a mile out. I figured there was nothing left in me at this point. We started to run again and the searing threat of hamstring cramps coursed through me. I called it. I don't even like admitting it. But I weighed the advantage of continuing on to pushing my legs into full cramps. I figured I was at the point of no return, probably only hurting myself. I encouraged Chris to get it done, but I had to walk back. After a short walk, I tried running a 30-second run 30-second walk interval. This worked a few times. I was hoping I could do this back to the car. NOPE!! Hamstrings said you better quit while you're ahead. So with my head down, I walked the walk of shame to my car. Then my shins started complaining about walking!! I couldn't win for losing today. As soon as I got to my car, I switched into dry clothes and sat in air conditioning. I made sure Chris made it back to his car.

I'm giving myself credit for 7 miles ran. After the 80 mile ride, not bad. But not what Coach ordered up. I know I'm hard on myself. I take this training seriously. So I immediately considered it a failure. Failure...practically brings tears to my eyes. 80-mile ride and 7 mile run..in 80-90 degree heat, fighting stomach issues. I had to remember some great people's failures. Michael Jordan said he succeeded because he kept failing. I've learned that we learn more from failures than successes.

Did I lose the mental battle? Did I make the right decision? Is living to fight another day a good way to look at it? Should I have sucked it up and pressed forward?? I have to live with todays decision.

What should I change? I believe I didn't take in enough water or salt. Usually I don't need Base salts on the bike. USUALLY I DON'T bike 80 freaking miles in 90 degree heat! Starting off the day with 2 packets of oatmeal and blueberries, thinking carb loading was a good idea, after having pizza the night before...I'm not doing that again! The triathlon game is tough. The longer you go, the more you gotta be on top of all the elements.

I will end this by stating Steve did a great job hanging with Chris. Chris was a ball full of energy and crushed the brick. I hope that everyone has a training partner who can help push and motivate and make sure the other athlete isn't left behind when driving the struggle bus!! Tomorrow is another day....a REST and RECOVERY DAY for me. Gotta get my mind and legs back in order to proceed. Be safe athletes.